So I'm not one of those religious bloggers..

please forgive.

texts, Philly cheese steaks, EXAMS, work schedule, creative process.

First off, Camille, I know you are one of the followers of this blog. I don't know if you'll read this one, but I'm sorry for never sending you my itunes! I kinda got distracted... I'm sorrrry! ]:

alright.

I'm not sure where to begin, honestly. Let's fill for a moment:

I went shopping.

I got new shorts and shirts.

I wrote my English final in a hour, it was 4 pages.

I didn't feel like studying for exams, because that makes me stressed.

I helped out Hans, a little bit, I hope.

My parents told me they want to retire to Espana.

I read wayyy too many pages of www.textsfromlastnight.com.

I reread a very horrible book from sixth grade.

Fillers, done.

Ahhhh, last week. Yearbooks! I have pages and pages of people signing my yearbooks. But I only actually care about a small amount of them. It's funny to think how everyone was yelling: "SIGN MINE, WHERE'S YOURS?" when clearly they didn't talk to you the whole year. It's quite enjoyable. I tried to get everyone I cared about to sign first, so they would have the room they wanted, but well, I didn't see them all. Poor Christina and Jake, on separate papers haha. Anyways, the point. I went back and read some of the stuff people wrote. And i started laughing. Mostly because one of my "good friends" wrote all this amazingly nice and caring stuff, but now is acting like even less of a friend then before. Which should be puzzling, but it's not. They think because the wrote in my yearbook they can not try even more. hahahahaha, oh the human brain.

I worked Sunday. Work itself is slightly boring, but the other lifeguards are hilarious, so it will be a pretty good summer. I got myself into more trouble though. I'm not quite sure how I manage this. Taylor told me he liked me again. After all this friggin' time. Flattered, yes. Happy, no. He's sweet, and nice. But I've been down this road, and I don't want to go back. Plus, I had someone else on my mind. I tried to make this clear, but apparently it didn't work, since he was still upset today when my relationship status changed....odd, no?

Summer is less than a week away, so I started to think about how I'd want to spend one of my summers. I got it.

It's something so typical, but I want to backpack. But unlike oh-so many people, I just want Spain and Alaska. I don't know what my Dad saw there when he was in the Air Force, but he loves both of those places. Whenever he talks about them, I get so excited. I mean, you've got to admit, they are beautiful. And they would be so different. Spain would be different from the USA, obviously. And Alaska would be an extremely different state then North Carolina...or any other state I've been to for that matter.

So I was reading Hans'(s) blog. It was making me think. He pours his whole entire being into two blogs, and some person anonymously tells him all this critical stuff. I'm not sure I completely understand that. Not him spilling his guts, that's understandable. I mean some person criticizing him on how he feels. That doesn't make much sense to me. But maybe that's just me?

Just think- a world with no Internet. No privacy disturbances, no hacking, no personal information on the web. What a beautiful, oblivious world we'd live in..

Night all,

I've put off sleep long enough[:

-Rach.

Realizations

Bitch load of food, music, texts, and emotions.

It's started! Finally! I'm being bribed to get good grades. It's not like I actually need the bribe though. 3.5+ GPA= double allowence. All A's=triple allowence. Saaaa-weeet?![: Well that was one of my favorite parts of the day, by far.

Today, I just kinda realized how unbelieveably lucky I am. I mean really. My family is close-knit, I have great friends, I understand school, and I've got a job. haha. But for real now, I am super lucky. It's kinda scary. I don't know, but then again, who really does?

Anyways...
YEARBOOK DAYYYY!
Probably the most pointless day of the school year, yet everyoneeeee loves it. Just think about it. Oh lord, I just spent the past ten minutes stripping my sister's bed, hiding all of it, and then laughing about how pissed she'll be. PRICELESSSSSSS. Don't ever tell people things that I tell you thinking you won't tell anyone..

Well I'm off for now, my days are rather pointless.
Rach.



oh, ps. I spent 45 mins with him after school, just hanging out in foundatin hall, talking. It was fun, and completely relaxed. It was wonderfulllll.

Hans would love the title..fuck.

16 gallons of hot water, 3 tabs, 1 long car ride, and 1 bojangles pitstop later..

I'm so done with school, I don't think anyone even remotely knows. I mean realllly now.
How stupid was I to think that she wouldn't say anything? I knew she read them, but I didn't think she'd actually tell her friends. I mean God, one of her friends hates me. I guess I'm too trusting, or think too highly of her. Well, not anymore. I'm done. I'm over-done. She can do whatever the hell she wants now. Simply 'cause I won't have anything to do with her anymore. Nope. I don't care what she says, it's not happening. You can't do that, and expect nothing to happen but to get yelled at.
No more Bojangles. Ever.

Anyways, Symposium was awesome. It was the first and last one of the year. First for me, last for everyone. I was pretty impressed actually. As far as I could see, the track meet was doing...decent? It was postponed a couple times, but oh well[:
So all within 6 hours, I got my fill of drama for the day. Starting with Bio drop and ending with the car ride home.
and of course everything inbetween.

I just think everyone needs to step back.
Step way, way back.
Just think:
Some things are right under your nose the whole time, but you don't realize it until it's too late.
You did great, really.


I'm on to the ultimate death of studying, Facebook, now.
Text if needed.

[:
Rach.

Mondays..

Are a pain in the ass. I'm sorry, but I can't stand Monday's when it's the end of the school year. I'm sitting here, wondering what to do, because there's no homework, my hand is on fire, and Greek isn't on yet. Oh, and my phone isn't ringing ]:<

I really want to sleep. My eyes are constantly hurting now. Visine please? Oh well, summer is close. I'll live. [:

I'm going to add more at nine.
right now I'm having trouble concentrating.

Blogging your heart out?

47 songs, one 30 minute drive, 0 cookies, 1 cellphone, and 0 calls later..

I'm sitting here.
Really? Writer's Block again? So I cannot write for English or WHI, but I can sit here and type my heart out on the world wide web. Normal-ithinknot. oh! 49 songs now. How easy it is to sit here and just, type. No worries on what is being said, no grade, nothing like that. Why can't everything be as simple as blogging? What predicaments I can get myself into. I have two right now, that are consuming my thinking.

FIRST:
I sit here, day to day, waiting for something to change with him. But nothing does. So I took it into my own hands, and what happens? I get smacked in the face by the effort made. Classic Rachel, no? I thought that guys were supposed to like the smart, nicer girls, that can still have fun. I'm not here to brag about greatness, because, frankly, I don't think there's much, if any. But still- I don't play dumb, I don't lack the brain cells that tell me to not drink or do drugs, I'm not one to wear too-tight clothing. But that's all the guys seem to go for. I mean, seriously. I could scream. How is it that this always happens?

SECOND:
I have potential pink eye.
perrrrfect.

l-o-v-e-l-y,
how sweet it is,
to think that summer is only weeks away.
I wish I could say I will be laying around, and seeing my friends a lot.
But I won't.
I'll be working my ass off. Same with next summer.
How bittersweet-
School work draws to an end,
then summer work begins!

Until I get tired of staring at a blank computer screen,
rarmy.

Music and Letters

Don't you just love a letter? Romantic, Poetic, Happy, Sad, Longing- it doesn't matter. I miss getting letters. I miss a lot. Man oh man, where did all that fun go? I'm stuck in my room, writing a lovely rough draft for a paper i don't like, all while slightly more miserable because i can't talk to my best friend in the world until Tuesday. I don't even know what will happen then. I'm terrified of what happened last night, but it needed to be done.

I mean, what else could i have done? He needs to figure himself out before i can try to firgure out what to do. I need to get back to writing. and I need lunch.

I won't let you, let you give up on a miracle, when it might save you..

Allergies and the Telephone.

I just sat outside for about a hour and a half talking to my best friend in the world.
All that got me was allergies, less minutes to use later, and some serious shit from my dad about missing the movie i was supposed to be watching with my mom and sister.
oh well.
haha.

I think it was worth it. I'll find out by Tuesday

He shouldn't of moved, and I shouldn't of been so bitter. I just wish everything would of turned out before now, it would of been much more convenient. Butttttt, what can you do?

I'm going to go read.
and put on my glasses for the first time since....Wednesday?

Night all,