Then you walk, under the streetlights

Humming, CSI, Smart Water, Cell Phone, NYLF, Transformers, my sister's friends..


I'd like to say that I learn a lot over summer. I might not learn things from books, but I feel like I learn a lot about myself over the summer. Every year, when school comes around, I feel like I'm completely different. I know that I'm not a whole new person, but I feel like there are major differences in my attitude and way of thinking. Maybe I'm just crazy. Maybe I just have wayyyy too much time on my hands during the summer. Who knows?

I think I've learned the most about myself in the past two weeks. Not only did I learn that I'm fine spending time alone, or without people from my grade. In fact, I think that's why I like summer so much. I don't usually talk to people I normally do. I tend to lean towards people I only see over the summer, or people that I just don't normally spend more than 10 minutes with.

EXAMPLE: This past Monday night. My sister had the group of people she hangs out with over. She let me stay and hang out, and it was probably the most fun I had all summer. It's nice to be around people that I knew before, but didn't really know that well.

Please don't get me wrong, I love my friends to death, but I'm one of those people who likes change. My best friends are still the exact same, but I don't feel it's necassary to hang out with them everytime I want to do something.


I think the thing I learned the most about is my emotions. I'm a very emotional person. I take everything to heart. It's very hard for me let jokes go when they really screw with my emotions. But the worst part is that two people can do the exact same thing, and it's fine if one does it, but I can't stand it if the other does. I don't like when people play with my feelings, at all. Like half friends, or guys that flirt like crazyyy, then turn around and act like I'm nothing. I'm fine with innocent flirting. And I'm okay with people being plesant, but not, say, a best friend. I don't need anymore best friends. Not that I won't take any (haha), but it's not like I have no one. When it comes down to it, I bottle up so much. I'm overly sensitive to people saying things. I know that 85% of the time that someone says something and it makes me upset, they didn't mean for it to. That's why I usually never actually say when I'm upset, I just go and listen to music, or write on this, or something else. Because by the time I'm done, I'm fine. I don't get mad to the point of telling someone a lot, because they'd REALLLLY have to do something bad to make me that mad. I just get a little upset or annoyed, and I'm over it within 5 minutes. Or I forget about it until later. I don't always like how I handle things, but it usually turns out for the best. Most things I get over, and it's fine. Well, that's enough for now. I've talked wayy too much about myself. ahahaha.


On a different note:
I'm waking up at 8am.
I'm going to be in a car for about 7 hours with my family.
I'm visiting my grandparents up in Ohio.
I'm driving home Sunday.

ehhhhhh. I miss them terribly. But I don't really want to go up to Ohio.
Texting me would be nice.


Anyways, it's nice to take a break from technology, and people. Some say they'd go crazy or die without their friends or phones for a day, but that's not me. I love the company of my friends and the convieance of my phone, but I could go without them for at least a few weeks. I like to be by myself (asher roth, anyone?) as much as I like to be with others. On the freshman beach trip, I was an INFP, but the thing is, I tied for extroverted. Dead even. 5 and 5. Most assumed that I would pick extroverted, but that's untrue. At the end of the day, I have to go to my room, lay there and read or write, and just be by myself (again, anyone? ahha).



Have you ever had one of those moments, where you're sitting outside, taking a walk around, driving in the car with the windows down, looking out your bedroom window, or some other form of being outside, and think how amazing the day is, and how you wish it'd never end? Those are the best days I have. Two years ago, in March, my family and I were driving home from WV. We were still in the mountains, and it was around 60 degrees outside. It was glorious. I felt so carefree, with the window down, and my music playing. I didn't feel happy for any particular reason, but I felt so alive. I have a lot of these moments it seems. I wish I could share how I feel with everyone, because I think if everyone could expirence at least two of these days a year, things would feel so much better. I don't know, that's just me. They mean that much to me.

Obviously, I've been feeling pretty dang confused on my emotions, since I'm sharing all about them. Anyways.

Think about it: I feel more alive this summer than any other. Maybe it's just cause my blood sugar is doing so well. Maybe cause I'm getting a new pump soon. Maybe cause I'm not tiring of my friends, because I feel like I have more. Maybe I'm done trying so hard to be perfect, and now I'm just being myself.


Alright, Katie has been asking to get on the computer for the past 30 minutes, it's time I give it up.


Peace :]
Rach.