a change in the weather...

First week of school. Third week of volleyball. Friends, family, homework. Laptop.


Pretty much my life as of now.
I'm over consumed with school. It's almost sad how badly I want to make good grades. I've never felt this strongly about it. Maybe it's just because my sister is going off to college next year, and doesn't ever have the same answer for what she wants to do. Crazy, right? I feel all this ambition to doing great, and hopefully I can stick it out. I never actually know if I will though.
Volleyball=intense.
This year has been 100% different from last year. Two new coaches, new freshman, old teammates gone, and a new idea on why we play. It's great. Our team has done a 180. As a team, we're so much closer, and have so much more fun. I mean sure, we work hard, do conditioning to make Collin happy, and run everywhere we go, but our whole mindset is different. It's actually fun to be on the team that FEELS like a team. It doesn't hurt that we've won our first two games either.
Friends....
Don't get me wrong, I love my friends to death. But even if I say I don't have secrets, it does NOT mean I'm that open with people. I don't go up to my friends and tell them everything. If they ask, sure! I'll tell. But not everything is made known. I have a private life. Everyone does. But when a friend does exactly what you asked them (multiple times) not to do, what are you supposed to do? Well I get mad. And I get over it. But it has to be on my time, not the other person's. My friends see this, when it's not them who did the stupid thing. It's funny how blind the world can be.

Which brings me to my next point.
I've heard people say it over and over. I don't want to talk to you right now means exactly what is said. I don't understand why people don't respect that. I know that I used to not, but I started to actually listen to what people are saying towards others, or me for that matter. Seriously. If someone talks like they don't like you, or are annoyed with you, ask them. At least they should be honest enough to tell you if they do or not.
I've started just telling people the truth. Not the half truths that make people feel good. If you ask me if I'm annoyed at you, I'll say yes, and I'll tell you why. Because I'd want you to do the same to me. If you dislike me, tell me. I'd rather hear it from you, and hear your reasoning then hearing the gossip. It's just generally ridiculous that: a) You can't just come and tell me, or b) your friends can't keep their mouths shut out of respect for you. I feel bad either way. Please don't bullshit me. I don't bullshit people anymore.


So that was a fairly lengthy rant over no specific moment in time..
awesome.

Night all.
Rach.

X-Games?

X-Games, Music, Working, Volleyball.

I don't want to try-out for volleyball this year. It's weird, I love love love playing, but to me, it just seems....pointless right now for me.

Let's rewind.
I don't like rejection.
There's been a lot of it recently with me.
I don't like public rejection.
Not making volleyball would be that.
I'm split.
I mean, I never wanted to play volleyball for scholorships, I'm not great. I played it to stay somewhat in shape, and have fun. Last year wasn't very fun for me though. I don't know. I'm torn. We'll see I guess.



I'm tired of sharing randomness on this blog.
When I have something of importance to talk about,
I'll write..